Mulheres tããão violentas


Do you still want the bed? It’s on its way. I made it myself. Wait, I have a new surprise. I’m just waiting for a chance to tell you. Do you let me speak? Or is it not necessary? I can do everything in gestures. It’s funnier. And scream too. Speechless. May I? God, it’s all so breathless!

Tonight I’ll be whatever you want me to be. Whatever you wish, anything. You choose, one, two, three. Yes, exactly what you’re thinking. That which you always thought about and never told anyone. Tonight, you are going to tell me and I will listen. Then I’ll do it or maybe I’ll pretend to do it. Make believe I’ll do it but end up doing it for real. Right now, for instance, I decided I wanted to write. That’s why you’re reading me. But I’ll change in a second. I can also be a carpenter. I can make a bed and bring it to you on my back. Do you want it at your home? Your place or mine? I know. Yesterday you looked at me, stared at my back the whole lunch. I saw it, don’t deny. It was at that restaurant where you never go. Where I never go. You waved goodbye as you passed my table and I’m sure that the whole show was only for my benefit. Do you want to repeat? Now? Come, bring your cat. What do you want me to be today? Which colour? Blue, green, yellow? Rouge? Will you turn the radio on? Let’s dance. We can dance all night long. There is no end. The space is an immense untold vastness, the space where we’ll dance the whole night. Or maybe not, we could fall. Singing? I can play anything, whatever you wish. Loudly. You know I’m that noisy. And you know I’m completely deaf. I need a lot of noise. I know you’ll take care of everything when we are famous, when we escape to become famous. Me and you. Do you still want the bed? It’s on its way. I made it. Wait, I have a new surprise. I’m just waiting for a chance to tell you. To speak. Do you let me speak? Or is it not necessary? I can do everything in gestures. It’s funnier. And scream too. Speechless. May I? One hundred percent new, they said. They lied, of course. Now I’m back to my sonic youth and I’ll forgive anything. I want to walk back towards it every day now, more unconscious, thinking still less and less, being younger. And that is hard enough by itself. You make me feverish, did you know? I want my peace back. The sum of the heritage, they’re always telling about. Multiplied everything tenfold. Listen, listen a lot. Now I know that I’ve lived from alpha to omega, now I know, I lived like the Verlaines, so to speak, Tom and Paul. Do you want to call me by another name? Tonight I can go by Wilde, if you feel like. Or what’s-his-name Coltrane. Wait , say nothing. Let’s sing. Will you take me tonight? To where there’s music and people. Where they are young and alive? Let’s go. I’ll give you both my hands, while you drive your car. I don’t ever want go back home. Guide me. What do you want me to be tonight? A false alarm, a nebulous bear full of stars? Not your daddy, please. You may look me right in the eyes that I won’t run. See, I don’t look away. Let’s see who laughs first. Oh. You lost. Do you want me to be the baker? I made all this bread for you. These thousands of little loafs. How do you like them? With jam? I can be your heir for just a night. You won’t say a thing. We won’t say a thing to nobody. We pretend pretending to pretend. OK?

[Say OK!]

When you told me your biggest secret. When, in tears, you told me your biggest secret. Because you thought I didn’t want you. When you cried and told me in my ear very, very low that your nose grew inwards when you lied. I didn’t tell you mine. My biggest secret. Come here. I won’t cry anymore. You need to know. I always take things the wrong way. My wiring is all messed up. So it’s better I tell you. I won’t think anymore. How long will it last? As long as you wish. It could be just tonight. I do whatever you ask me to. One. Two, three. Exactly what you’re thinking. I’ll carry you on my back and leave the bed here. “It is not necessary”. Do you see that tree. That’s where we’re going. On the way there, if you wish, ask me for my biggest secret. You know, I never was in Biarritz so I wouldn’t be able to answer. What are you listening to? What’s that channel? Rain? My favourite. Listening to water falling down. Then I’ll sing for you, with my hands in my pockets. The silence of raindrops hitting your forehead. Let’s not force things. Typical me. We start something and never finish it. Yes, I’ll go back to my sonic youth. Don’t worry. I bought all the tickets for the music festival. The whole lot. I called my five hundred best friends. Old and young, men and women, the dumb and the hallucinated – they got them all. I did it on purpose just to seduce you. No, they aren’t for sale. They aren’t for eating either. Shall we cover the bedroom walls with them? The music festival. I know, let’s make boats and airplanes. A lot of little boats with all that paper. Then we make a river, a sea, a sky. We bid farewell but never leave. It is just the same. We just pretend to rehearse. We rehearse completely that we pretend all there is to be felt in the world. Does it make any difference? No. Even pretending, we do what we do. And do it with the relish of feeling that we’re actually doing something. What do you fancy today? Shall I hide? Shall I count or you want to do it? Why don’t you tell that story? With wolfs apologizing for being wolfs. And what has your cat to say for himself? Come, I’ll wait for you. It was a long day wasn’t it? It is over already, it’s gone, let’s go out now. I’ll bring my two hands along and guide you towards by grandest truths. Now I’m all true. Even pretending that I’m true, I’m even truer. I’m for real. Were you afraid when I kissed you? Afraid of never being able to leave again. Afraid of never being able to see your own eyes again. Your clear eyes. Or, maybe, afraid of being afraid. I’ll open a book. Lately it got into me that I can read. Sometimes I open a book. Only to seduce you. Do you want me to read? Wait. I like this part a lot. The part where he screams. Forever gone and he’s no longer here. And from now on it will hurt. Get up, go, lie down or don’t lie down. Sit. Have another drink or don’t drink at all. Leave. Come back. He’s not here. Do you like it? Do you want me to read more? Now get up and go search, get up swiftly and calmly and go search for what you lost. It’s good isn’t it? It says on the cover that it’s a masterpiece. On the back it says it’s an unforgettable work of art. Just like you. I am whatever you wish. Today. A doctor, architect, a casino robber. A robber of thieves. How many years of forgiveness for that one? I cannot remember. I can be a shepherd, a tailor, a minister, a prime minister or even a little sorry clown. Not a man of the law, please. I am outside of the law. Where is the law, anyway? Do you still want the tickets? Do you still want the bed? Will you lay down on it? Do you still like me? Alright, call me Billy. Boy. Billy Boy. Come here, come closer. I have eyes only for you, can’t you see? I’m looking at you only, no one else. Wait let me take a look at the watch? We have five minutes forty one. Let’s run, we are agile, we can do it. That tree there, let’s run to it. Do you want to go ahead and see if I’m there already? Do you still want the bed? I’ve finished a hundred boats already, and two hundred and thirty planes. Only the sky is missing, and the sea. Do you require a god? Two, three? You could be a real Goddess after all without my noticing. Would you care for another gin? Run. There’s only sharks here. Shall we dive? It’s only the river of my sonic youth, fear not. We made peace with the whole world. We made balance. Way up there. And now you can touch my whole body. Are you out of time? It doesn’t matter. It is yours. Let’s add. Do you know how to calculate? Add. Now close your eyes. Wait. Biarritz, Texas. You may open them up. Biarritz, Colorado. Where shall we go? I stole my father’s car keys. It’s big, we can sleep inside it. I’ll give you my hands and you drive, to nowhere, or to Washington DC. How about to go crashing into that tree? No. Turn left. Then go straight ahead, always straight ahead. I was never in Biarritz. Can you read? Sorry, I forgot to ask. There will be a forest fire on TV, I don’t feel like watching. Let’s leave. Go to the restaurant we never go to and then you’ll move through the same film. Take it, it‘s yours, the sky. I made the whole sky for you. Now we can bring in the light, with all its colours. We’ll live at the front line, as you knew all along. Do you want to? Shall we drive? Dance all night? Me and your pure geniality, me and the curved surface of your tattoo, me and your promise. Let’s sit near that tree and wait for the rain to pass. Come here, you cool thing, look at me. Close, closer yet. Can you see? I don’t look away. It’s all yours. Would you care for another gin? Move aside just a little. I’ll drive. Careful with that tree. We still have a few seconds. Do you want to count? Do you know how to count? I’ll escape. To the inside of you. Who will smile first? You loose. Now I can be whatever you want. It can be right now. You have one second to think. Now! Do you want my hands? They aren’t made of iron. Call me whatever you want. I could be your biggest secret, so as to make this whole thing really hot, much, much hotter. Did you ever go to Biarritz? It’s always summer over there. What’s your tour? Show me where the law is. Show me where it’s written that I can’t do what I’m doing. You were the one who asked me to putt my fingers in the holes of your pantyhose. Show me everything. Do you want me to be a rubber collector, a barrel maker, a gas seller? Not a lawyer, please. Not even a journalist. Do you want me to be The Man? An Indian, a Costa-Rican, neo-something? Fine. At the usual place, same hour. We have five seconds. Look at me quick. Careful with the tree. Three. You see? You loose. Two. What about your dog? One. Does it still bite? Zero. Hasta la vista!