The shape of my heart

© Janko Ferlic


Why do you like other people? Because you know them well and they’re just what you expect or, on the contrary, they’re just a new world to explore, full of surprises every day, for the worst and for the best? Until death tears you both apart? Probably, you will only know the complete landscape when you get there.

After those first moments of surprise when they hugged each other and shared words like “long” and “time” and “see”, with the word “no” in between. Then, just after that, they started talking.

– Hey, what happened to your wife? – Said the one with the yellow jersey.
– She’s dead! – The other had some blue trousers, kind of brownish hair.
– Really?
– Yes, she passed away in an accident… – Kind of brownish dark hair, some visible spots of his age here and there.
– Oh, I’m really sorry… – He looked a bit surprised, but not too much.
– That’s alright, it doesn’t matter now. What about yours? She was lovely, as I remember. She was gorgeous and sexy.
– Oh, I gave up women. Full of it. I’m into men now. – And he smiled.
– No kidding. Are you crazy? Men?
– Yes, men. You know women they’re full of problems. We cannot customize them very well. They ask too much, they’re never happy with us, they’re sort of in another world. So I changed. And I don’t need to hide it. That’s it, I’m a gay guy! – He looked tanned. He had some shoes that would make any mother proud of him.
– I would never imagine that. You, the stubborn. The guy who never changes his mind.
– Oh, that was in high-school. Nowadays life is different and I don’t care much of it. – He was late to catch a bus. He wanted to go somewhere South, looking for a bicycle, but now he was undecided.
– And what did your wife say? Do you have children?
– Have one boy and one girl. They’re lovely. I love them. – He really does.
– And how did they react?
– Well, they didn’t. They think it’s normal. What they think is that sooner or later everyone would cross the border. Just to give it a try. – He checked his watch and puzzled himself if it was a good idea to head South.
– I’m not into that. I don’t want to try. I love women! – He had many, all the time. He used them and then he threw them away.
– Women are full of free radicals. I got tired. You know men… Men always get tired of something.
– Yes but that’s not a reason to become gay. – Last time he left someone in the parking lot, a woman he didn’t even know the name, she was half naked.
– But men are men. They just are. They don’t ask much and you know what’s beneath. They’re just like you. And the sex is quite similar. It ends the same way. – He decided not to go. Instead, he was going home. He lifts up his arm and a Taxi stops two meters away.
– Hey, are you going? – The son of a bitch!
– Yes. Have to go! – He was not much into conversations.
– And your wife? Is she still around? Don’t remember her very well. I only know she was stunning. Do you still have her phone number?
– I have, but she never gives it up to anybody. She called me yesterday. A son of a bitch left her half naked in a parking lot! I had to pick her up! Have to go now. Bye! – And he left.
– Bye! – Then he remembered her name. Her name was Amanda. She was really lovely.